10% . In 2023 just ten percent of the top two hundred grossing movies were scored by women composers.
15% . "...only 15% of live sound engineers and 12% of studio/mastering engineers are women." In studios, festivals and music education there is still a startling gender imbalance in the industry. Improvements are being made but there is still a long way to go. Vick Bain, founder of The F List and a passionate advocate for equality in the music industry remarked at a creative technologies event:
"women are often discouraged from the thought of pursuing music as they don't see themselves represented anywhere ... so they don't believe it's possible."
This was certainly true for me. Whilst I love creating music, I never considered pursuing it professionally. It didn't seem possible. Anyone who knows me is surprised when I share this. It seemed an obvious choice to all but me. When I watched films, it was the music that gripped me most. Music was the ethereal element that heightened a scene to profound dimensions. Yet when I looked up who created these beautiful scores it was nearly always men. Secondly, as a multi-instrumentalist who plays mostly by ear, I felt intimidated by the technology and terminology. Falsely thinking I'd only make it if I were a maestro with savant level sight reading skills. Preposterous when you look at industry titans like The Beatles, Hans Zimmer, Taylor Swift, or Aretha Franklin. All of whom have had immense success with limited or non existent music reading abilities. I'm not alone. Many women struggle with or are overwhelmed by music technology. Held back by sexism, societal gender bias "women just aren't naturally good at technology", the responsibilities of balancing parenthood with a creative career or fundamentally, lack of support. Thankfully there are fantastic organisations actively working to correct the imbalance by helping women develop their production skills and subsequently book more work.
At the start of this year, I was filled with doubt. I'd taken part in film scoring contests, performed in plays and with orchestras, played at open mic nights, scored my first online radio series, all whilst dabbling in Garageband and Logic Pro. But I felt I'd plateaued. I knew I needed to up my game and develop my tech skills. In times of uncertainty, I often turn to a quote by Seneca the Younger. It goes roughly like this:
"if one does not know to which port one is sailing... no wind is favourable."
Put simply, if you don't know where you're going, you're never going to get there. I needed a new harbour to sail to. I wanted to compose for films. But what did I need to get me there? I made a list.
I wanted a mentor. (A woman, preferably.) And 1-1 time, instead of being lost in a group.
I needed practical help, not someone talking theory at me. I needed to learn in a recording studio.
Finally, I wanted to acquire the skills to mix my own music. I'd love to work with sound engineers and orchestrators eventually, but there's a freedom and efficiency to producing your own work. Plus, if you're working on low budget projects, there isn't always the budget for extra help.
Now I had my list of goals but absolutely no idea how or when I'd achieve them. I decided to take the advice of Tilda Swinton who encouraged listeners at SXSW 2023 "keep your dreams soft, malleable". Let go of the how of it all, and trust in the timing. Let go of the details. So I did. Before I knew it, I received my monthly newsletter from The F List which changed everything...
The F List is a directory of UK based female talent consisting of musicians, songwriters and composers. The F List makes female musicians discoverable, a riposte to the old excuse "I would work with a female producer, sound engineer etc but I can never find them...". As a member of The F List you can create your own profile; list your skills, adding videos and links to your work. The best part is it's completely FREE. There are no membership fees. Every month you receive a newsletter with updates on industry progress, statistics, funding, guides, workshops, training opportunities and much more.
One such newsletter popped into my inbox this spring with an opportunity that ticked everything on my list. A mentorship program with The Guildhall School of Music & Drama. There would be two days with a mentor learning music production, a day mixing at World Heart Beat Recording Studios, a symposium day with industry speakers and, it was completely free. I filled in my application and sent it off, hoping but expecting nothing. Until I got a reply telling me I'd won a place. I was one of twenty nine women selected to participate July 2024. Looking back now, I can honestly say it was one of the most rewarding and affirming experiences of my life.
It also couldn't have come at a better time. I was halfway through scoring my first short film. A low-budget British made independent film called The Lemon Cake Society by Forgotten Birthday Films. It's a whimsical wholesome story about a group of teens who go on their last camping adventure together in the Peak district. Shot beautifully in the style of Wes Anderson. Scoring the film has been an adventure in itself. Late nights spent at the piano fizzing with delight when I finally landed a melody, a firework of an idea exploding into my imagination. It has also, at times, been fraught with panic. I don't know what I'm doing. Does this piece reflect the character's feelings in this scene? How do I emulate the style of the temp music without plagiarising it? How do I fulfil a brief whilst making the music my own? And how on earth do I mix the music I've produced?
I knew a bit about articulation. Using expression and dynamics to adjust samples to perform more like live instruments, but EQ was a mystery along with everything else. I thought of Richard Branson and his leap first, look later attitude to creative growth. Fear is there to protect us from the unknown. But we have to accept that we can never know everything. And it's better to jump before you know how to swim.
This is where I have to give an enormous shout out to Katie May, Head Engineer at Real World Studios. I don't think there will ever be enough words in the English language to express my gratitude for Katie. For two days we worked together in this little room in the summer heat as she showed me the ropes. Listening to my music, demonstrating her own mixes and methods. Patiently answering the thousand questions I flung at her as I rapidly scribbled notes and diagrams into my notebook. A notebook which has since become a trusted bible I turn to for guidance on every musical project.
We covered Logic hacks; I learnt to optimise my work flow, make track stacks, use reverbs, lo pass filters, solutions to a muddy mix, how to use compression or limiters. She demystified EQ in terms I could understand and never made me feel stupid if I struggled. Best of all, through working together on pieces for my soundtrack for "The Lemon Cake Society", she helped me realise how much I had already achieved on my own. Recording and performing every sound and instrument, composing and producing it myself when I could have had help. Making music can be a very solitary existance. Yes, we can always improve. Constantly learning to use new daws or vst plugins. But it's equally essential to recognise and be proud of your successes. A valuable lesson I'm continually striving to remember. Now that I've completed the score, I've had to learn it all over again. To be proud of what I've achieved whilst accepting there is still room for improvement. We are all works in progress and that is more than okay.
I could never have completed this film score without the help I received from Vick Bain founder of The F List and Annie Urquhart at The Guildhall School of Music and Drama who created this brilliant development program. It was a rare and wonderful thing to be in a room with so many talented women. All supporting each other. All seeking to learn, to connect, to grow.
Hearing from guest speakers like ethnomusicologist Lucy Duran, or Cicely Balston from Air Studios (now mastering engineer at Abbey Road) has reminded me there is a community you can turn to for guidance, instead of struggling alone. Learning as much as possible can help you better communicate your ideas but you don't have to do it all by yourself. There are people out there willing to help you get to where you want to be. If you haven't signed up for The F List yet, please please do. You won't regret it.
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