Doubt. Faith. Fear. Anxiety. If Inside Out 2 was anything to go by, it's clear we all struggle with our inner emotions. As the saying goes;
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
And modern life and social media makes it ever harder. Comparison is the thief of joy but why does it taste so good? The vice you can't quit. The post-midnight doom scroll, the old school friend who just got engaged-promoted-pregnant-bought a new house. All the arbitrary stepping stones society demands. Checking their little list with a smug: "Yes. You may pass as human now." Is it any wonder Bridgerton was such a smash hit? The ton still exists. Except now they're on the internet.
Many a time I've been eaten with envy at others who are out there doing the things I dream about, making it look all so easy. But no one talks about the ugly parts. The waiting. The failing. The wrong turns and mis-steps. The decades of your life that can slip by whilst you're standing on the roundabout trying to choose an exit.
I've always suspected life would be easier if we were all a little more honest about the struggle.
"A problem shared is a problem halved" and the more we share, the more we will realise we are not alone. That this is all normal, this is life, roll with the punches kid, don't think twice it'll be all right.
Earlier this year, I read something that made me pause and look at it all from a different point of view. It made me realise that instead of trying to suppress the feelings we don't like; the mistakes, the embarrassment, the Jungian shadow self we just want rid of and then we'd be perfect. We have to accept that the only way forward is to embrace it all and see the value in the parts we'd rather pretend do not exist. Instead of trying to surgically remove them (as impossible as trying to remove your own heart) see them for the powerful lesson they are. We are meant to feel. Feel it all. And when we listen to those feelings we gave them space to be heard. Brianna Wiest put it more eloquently when she wrote:
“I’ve always used envy as a tool. What if the people you’re jealous of are not your competition but your mentors? What if they are showing you something you desire but have been suppressing?” ~ B. Wiest
There's a stronger, braver, more capable you that you've buried and she's screaming 'We could do this. We could have this', if you'd only listen. If you only gave yourself the space and grace to meet your own feelings where they are. Instead of sprinting through life on auto-pilot, promising to deal with it later, knowing you never shall. This year has been monumental for me on a deeper, quieter level. And that is just as valid and essential as the big recognisable milestones. You can't progress in life if you don't know who you are. Where you are. So go deeper. Listen to it all. I promise your next steps will become that little bit clearer if you do.
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